Up the Tree

Somewhere in the haze before I go to sleep, when my eyes are closed, I have strange thoughts. Sometimes as simple as questioning what’s in the boneless spareribs I had for dinner, but sometimes I have a full-fledged philosophical epiphany.

Last night I wondered in order for super-heroes to wear their flashy spandex body suits, they would require hours of design, approval, and manufacture to get to the final product. I wish I could be a super-hero uniform designer. Sure it’s a highly specialized field and you would probably not be able to show other outfits in your portfolio to other people.

I mean you couldn’t tell Dr. Octopus you had worked on Spider-Man’s outfit! He would definitely torture you to see Spidey’s billing information. Yes, you would need to keep it private… I wonder if you could design a villain’s outfit? Would he pay you, or just kill you. I love design and all, but not enough to die.

How could you advertise?

The Super-Villains would find you and… gulp… POW! On second thought I bet there is a super-hero designer who designs super-hero outfits. DESIGNOMAN! He (or She) could defend himself against the likes of super villains.

“No Catwoman, you know I can’t give out that sort of information about my clients. Now is it going to be the black spandex, or would you like to try pink? Pink is the new black you know.”

Ah well, it was worth a thought.

bq. These are the wasted hours
between excitement and romance
between take out and gumption
by yourself
alone
wishing your friends had more stamina
and LA weren’t so far away
these are the misspent days of my youth
that I wished I had spent
better spent
and unlike the past
used to intervene
in cigarettes and booze
I am the roadie
for my own life

The following post uses strong language not suitable for some children, please discontinue reading if you are offended by strong language.

*Now, don’t get me wrong.*

I feel for the prisoners of the US Military that were abused, tortured, humiliated, raped, and any other outrageous act that was inflicted upon them. That my country’s military performed those acts is awful and should be punished to the fullest extent of international law.

HOW-EVER!

Let us not forget the thousands of people who have been killed, maimed, or terrified by a war that should NEVER HAVE HAPPENED! Let us not forget that we shouldn’t be there in the first place, let alone perform those horrible acts on prisoners.

* How about the bombs we dropped on innocent people?
* How about the military casualties to find nukes that weren’t there?
* How about the chemical weapons? I thought you said they had chemical weapons vans? Where the hell are they?
* How about the soldiers who die day after day to restore peace to a country that we have absolutely no business being in? Who don’t want us to be there?
* How about Osama? Where’s all that “evidence” that he was involved with Saddam? Was there any?
* How about this fictional war created to grab some oil?

Why don’t we _not only_ look at the horrible acts of some confused military personnel, but also at a groundless war? If there’s one thing I know about the military is soldiers don’t often jump unless instructed and lots of soldiers don’t jump unless ordered. Where does the accountability end? The soldiers? The Generals? Rumsfeld?

bq. �I call on all governments to join with the United States and the community of law-abiding nations in prohibiting, investigating, and prosecuting all acts of torture,� -George Bush

Or, how about the maniacal president that started it. This war should never have happened! We went in to stop atrocities to people and instead we committed atrocities? No? Really? What do you think happens in wars? You think we went to iraq to give out puppies and lollypops? Wars are not generally a great place to find peace. Sure there was World War II and the Nazis, and somebody had to stop them, but they went in to other countries and killed and tortured innocent people because of their religion!

Wait, that sounds eerily familiar to me.

Reasons for my outrage
“Chain of Command”:www.newyorker.com/fact/content/?040517fa_fact2
“HEARTS AND MINDS”:http://www.newyorker.com/talk/content/?040517ta_talk_remnick
“The Price of Arrogance”:msnbc.msn.com/id/4933882
“Rape Rooms: A Chronology”:slate.msn.com/id/2100014

Oh, joy. Spring again! Now it’s undeniable. The flowers are falling from the tees and leaves are sprouting all over. It makes it hard to believe two months ago there were none.

It is the season for better spirits, resolutions, new projects, and of course _bitching BBQ parties._ The unfortunate part about urban living, is that there just aren’t many opportunities to BBQ… in New York at least. It’s the freedom of firing of the range and not having to worry about anything other than the plates you brought out the meat on… and I do mean meat people. Although I feel for our vegetarians in the audience, I don’t care what you marinate tofu in, it’s still tofu.

So, if you have access, please fire up the grill, put on your “Kiss the chef” apron and enjoy some animal flesh (or tofu if that’s what you prefer) for us who are without.