Up the Tree

AS A RULE: Snow in New York City doesn’t stay white for very long… _If at all._

Snow days in New York are really only cool, if you aren’t working. Otherwise, they are a recurring reminder that being a kid was, in fact, the best time of your life and you were an idiot to want to grow up.

The city is a turbulent nightmare of slush and ice now. The cheery guise of comradeship that New York, as a city, could weather the _Blizzard of 03′_ is gone. Most New Yorker’s have reverted from their cheerful _snow day dispositions_ to a more common _asshole in slush_ mode. I don’t think New Yorkers can really enjoy anything that impedes their normal day to day lives. Snow is fine, in the eyes of a New Yorker, as long as it stays in fuking Vermont where it belongs.

*Snow, or slush as the case may be, is the great equalizer.*

Slush doesn’t care if you are wearing $30 all weather moccasins from _Lands End_ or bullshit $450 _Prada_ running shoes, your feet will get wet and your austere exterior will be shattered by your sudden look down at your little piggies.

*It does, however, wreak havoc on the food delivery business… _and that’s a shame._*

Howdy online friends and family. It has been a while since I had the time and the gumption to write an actual post on this blasted information super-highway.

bq. SPEAKING OF WHICH, what ever happened to the _Information Super-Highway?_ The description for the internet has disappeared for what i can determine must have been the simple fact that not everybody thought it was that _super_. The phrase reminds me of the late 90’s when people thought the internet was super-keene and couldn’t wait to get their ass on it. _I think they later found it wasn’t as exciting as people made it out to be._

*The snow is all over the streets here in Manhattan.*

People are making valiant attempts to conquer huge drifts of now and huge piles of plowed slush. I myself have felt the cool reminder between my toes that I am susceptible to the elements.

bq. I have been busily updating the back-end of this website to such an extent that no one should be able to notice the new enhancements I have made. It struck me, after I just wrote the last sentence, that I updated my website design solely for myself. On this realization I decided that I have to read more often, knit more often, and above all stay away from redesigning this site… but being a graphic designer, you can expect a redesign somewhere in the next few weeks. Well, a website or a homemade scarf. _Either or really._

On the sunny side of things, Diane and I went to prospect park yesterday, during the big blizzard, and bravely slid down a hill on newly purchased fluorescent orange *Big Foot* discs. Through our many attempts down the _slope_, we found that running and jumping onto the disc stomach first was the technique _de jour_. We nicknamed the haberdasher style of sledding the _tummy first_ method. I, unfortunately, didn’t take any photographs of the event, only because I JUST got a digital camera last friday and knew I would manage to loose it in a snow drift. They have yet to build an electronic device that is _Funtime Ben proof_.

*There is something refreshing about a hill full of people all holding various colors of oval plastic discs getting along together in peaceful teeth-chattering harmony.*

I think we need to get Saddam, Osama, and George Jr. on a hill in Prospect Park, give them each a fluorescent orange disc and in an hour I bet most of our problems with each other’s countries would be a thing of the past. All you need in life is a good _snow day_ to make everybody happy.

*Plus, seeing George Jr. eat a snow bank would make everybody feel a little bit better.*

Am I the only one who thinks that all this paranoia about High Threat warnings from the government is just another way to scare the “United States people” into thinking war is a good idea?

Nice try George.

Splitting head, hurting
must find Excedrin, must make
a trip to Duane Reade.

I can hear you. The whole bar can hear you. And I’m very certain that your white-hat friend one foot in front of you can hear you.

Now, can you please shut up.
_Thank You_